first bear poem
#
I want to be 200 years old
not dead
and very beautiful
symbolised as ‘a sad thing’
like a star or a purple sky
that wants to brood harder but can’t
because it’s a sky and inanimate
i want to be arrested
on account of my unhappiness
and my addiction
to the atmosphere
re-emerging maybe 10 years after
in a hemisphere
that you haven’t even heard of
my facebook newsfeed equates to
‘lots of sad things not allowed to be in love
until they stop being vicious
by killing animals’
i want to sit in a jail cell
on a movie screen
with a marlon brando lookalike
crying and being bitch slapped multiple times
by a more mature author
with a better resume
while talking to you on f.b. chat
in a lexi we adopted: i love you as i.l.y.
thinking about ‘leaving here
and crying for a few hours in
an acting school’s toilets
in the south of here’
and when i leave planet earth
i want a gravestone the size of an avalanche
in the tonality of a whale’s heartbeat
because all i wanted on this planet earth
all i needed
was to look good
then to feel good too
